Personality Disorders

» mkinoly - Is my partner NPD?

Hey there joolz... thought I'd share that you were right, of course... the "grenade" was launched this weekend.

When my partner and I agreed to buy a house together she promised to pay the majority of the mortgage, while I worked at our joint business to earn money to pay for the rest of it. That was the only way we could do it. While I do have a good full-time job, my money is commited elsewhere, including paying a large child support bill. So I don't have much "extra" at the end of the month, and I am certainly not a big shopper into material goods. I really don't spend much money aside from bills and groceries and rarely buy myself anything.

So now that she and I are splitting up and preparing the house to sell, she has decided she should not have to continue to pay the amount she was paying towards the mortgage. She should only pay half, and I should pay half. This was on Friday. The mortgage is due Monday (today).

As I said earlier in a different post, I had to quit our joint business because she forced me out of it by not being flexible and letting me have time with my daughter on special occasions and being a tyrannical jerk. So I no longer have that income (it was only $250/mo but it helped alot), and I suddenly have this $525 bill to pay for "my half" of the mortgage! Of course the mortgage is only in my name and comes out automatically from my bank account.

This all JUST AFTER she wrote me a note saying how she wishes we could try again, how she loves and cares about me, wants to protect me. HOLY CRAP!!!

I tell her I don't have $525 to suddenly start covering this new bill (which she already knows). She tells me I make more than her (not true), I make $4000 a month (not true), and that I should stop taking my mother to "expensive restaurants" (I take her out to get groceries and to dinner once a week--she's 81 years old, can't drive, doesn't really have anyone else, she needs me and looks forward to our visits--we usually go to Taco Bell or Subway, occasionally to Olive Garden or the local Chinese restaurant), and to stop doing stuff for/buying stuff for my 12 year old daughter (she is a low maintenance kid--she doesn't want fancy clothes, expensive electronics, etc. The most we do is go bowling or a movie, or I drive her to an event she wants to go to and buy a fast food lunch, or buy her a pack of Pokemon cards). Apparently I'm supposed to stop providing small comforts for my family and live in poverty. Ain't she sweet?

Now I feel so desperate and anxious about money. I'm 41 years old and have never, ever had money issues. I've always been responsible and lived within my means, and never fought about money with my other partners, we were always both responsible and giving. Now I have to use my meager savings to cover this new bill every month until the house is sold. We all know the housing market sucks right now, and it being winter makes it even worse. The house still needs some repairs to make it more sell-able, but she never finishes her projects, and I don't know how to work those scary table saws and all that stuff.

Now she says she'll just move out. That will stick me with the entire mortgage, all the utilities, everything... god, I feel so sick about it all. I'm right in front of her, crying, telling her how hard it is, explaining things, asking her questions, and she's cold as ice, arguing, blaming, defending. Then she says I NEED TO KEEP MY PROMISES!! How do these people live with themselves?? Pure evil. The coldest heart I've ever seen.

-- posted by mkinoly