Personality Disorders

» justwokeup - Right or Wrong Next Steps To Take ?

It ends when he ends.

There is no closure. You could no more have a satisfying final conversation with him than you could with a great white shark (with black eyebrows and piercing green eyes).

All we can do is examine ourselves and figure out what weaknesses of ours made us vulnerable and then eliminate or transform them. That is the only viable option.

When I first stopped 'taking care of my family' the way I always have, I felt like a selfish child. Thank Gawd something inside drove me to that behavior because I just did not have it in my mind or heart. I snapped. I broke. It's been eleven months and all three of my males still look at me sometimes like, "What happened to her?" but for the most part, they're picking up the slack. I was a textbook co-dependent and that held me in bondage to my N.

Stop trying to make sense of it, Satan's Ex. It is impossible to make sense of the insane. All you can do is walk away. Quit looking at him and start looking at yourself. Don't say, "I did this and this and this FOR him." Ask, "What did I do that allowed him to devour me? Where am I injured? What do I have to do to heal myself? How can I change to protect myself? Where do I draw boundaries that will keep me safe while simultaneously treat others with respect?"

It's not about being selfish, it's about taking care of our self-interests ... very different things.

Keep writing that book, though ... he sounds absolutely creepy!

-- posted by justwokeup