Personality Disorders

» justwokeup - Right or Wrong Next Steps To Take ?

Hi NG,

The guy I dated before my husband was a full blown, textbook case of NPD. That was 1983 and I had no idea what his problem was, but I knew it was major. I had never fallen in love with him, though, so by the time we broke up, I just wondered what the hell I ever saw in him. From beginning to end, our relationship was not quite five months long.

This coming January 1st, it will be 24 years since I married my N. A quarter of a century goes by fairly quickly when you're rearing children. My husband is NOT a full blown case. He does not proclaim his superiority to the world. In fact, it just occurred to me, it's not just his lack of empathy and his silent treatments that last for months ... it is his very covertness that makes him so dangerous. He just retired from a decorated career in law enforcement. Over half of it was under cover. How appropriate.

No one outside our home would ever have a clue what it's like behind closed doors because he does not exhibit those NPD traits that anyone else would notice. My sons sort of know. But even then...he would alternate between terse tones and Mr Nice Guy with them, the whole time he would not speak to me. I have to stop. I am getting sucked down. It's no help that it snowed yesterday and my tolerance for cold weather has been decreasing since I was treated for thyroid cancer in 2004. I am being a noodge. I am sorry.

I hope you enjoy your day.

just woke up

-- posted by justwokeup