Personality Disorders

» justwokeup - Right or Wrong Next Steps To Take ?

Thank you, joolz ...

I am feeling confused. I keep telling myself that when my job is ready, I will be hired.

N has been his false self (I always think of that as Mr Nice Guy or Mr Pleasant Guy) and I really resented it until a couple of weeks ago. Then, it occurred to me that since I know it is what it is, life is definitely easier this way. Since I can't move out until I can support myself, it's a blessing that he's not his real self. Still, it is just a reminder of how sick this house is...it's insane.

My life does not feel real. Of course it is, I'm alive...so what else could it be.

I am thankful that being peaceful and calm no longer feels strange. I am thankful that my changing relationships with people I care for no longer feels like detachment, just change. I am thankful that even though it would be complete upheaval, if I do have to leave the state when I leave the house, I DO have somewhere to go, and the people making the offer really want me there, it's not out of sense of duty. I am thankful that as disorienting as this major transitional phase of my life is, I am healthier and stronger than I have ever been. I am thankful for you, and everyone here, and this site for bringing us together, because you have validated my crazy experience and give me hope and support when I am floundering.

May today be hopeful for everyone, that even if we're lumps and don't feel like we're progressing, we know that we are already so much healthier than we were.

just woke up

-- posted by justwokeup