While passive aggression is not technically considered a personality disorder according to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-IV, people who have this condition, also known as Negativistic Personality Disorder, function in a way that is both hurtful to others and self-defeating.
The passive-aggressor expresses his anger in a passive way, by procrastinating, forgetting, resisting responsibility and finding fault with others. Rather than assertively expressing his own needs and wishes, says H.I. Kaplan and B.J. Saddock in Synopsis of Psychiatry, he develops resentment towards others for not meeting those needs.
According to therapist Beverly Engel, author of Honor your Anger: How Transforming Your Anger Style Can Change Your Life, about half of passive-aggressors are aware of what they are doing. The rest are acting out of subconscious beliefs, unable to understand why their relationships aren’t working.
The DSM-IV states that a passive-aggressive personality is indicated by four or more of the following:
- resists fulfilling routine social and occupational tasks;
- complains of being misunderstood and unappreciated by others;
- sullen and argumentative;
- unreasonably criticizes and scorns authority;
- expresses envy and resentment toward those apparently more fortunate;
- voices exaggerated and persistent complaints of personal misfortune;
- alternates between hostile defiance and contrition.
Dependence and Independence as Characteristics of Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder
One of the major characteristics of this personality type is the conflict between dependence on others and independence. In their book, Overcoming Passive-Aggression, authors Tim Murphy and Loriann Hoff Oberlin assert that “the passive-aggressor is caught between dependence, which they resent, and autonomy, which they fear… Dependence makes them feel controlled and vulnerable, trapped when they are expected to express intimate feelings.”
Because they lack self-confidence and often feel inadequate, they feel that they cannot function on their own so they must depend on others. But they see others as the cause of their problems, so they express their anger toward these confining relationships in passively hostile ways.
For a person with hidden anger, say Murphy and Oberlin, marriage is the final surrender. Once the relationship ceases to be fun or easy, however, the passive-aggressor moves on, thereby swinging from dependence to independence. But he inevitably swings back to dependence on someone else and the pattern continues.
Problems with Authority Figures for the Passive-Aggressive Personality
The passive-aggressor often has difficulty dealing with people in positions of authority, according to the DSM-IV, such as supervisors at work, teachers, parents and even spouses. These authority figures become the focus of the person’s anger. Because passive-aggressors tend to externalize their problems while being envious and resentful of others’ success, they will criticize and express hostility toward anyone they consider to be an authority figure, with or without provocation.
These individuals also tend to vacillate between hostile resistance towards authority figures and asking for forgiveness or promising to change their behaviour in an attempt to appease their oppressor.
Passive-Aggression as a Symptom of Other Disorders
While passive-aggressive disorder is a problem in itself, this pattern of behaviour is often a symptom in other disorders, including Borderline, Histrionic, Paranoid, Dependent, Antisocial, and Avoidant personalities. Unlike Histrionic and Borderline personality disorders, however, passive-aggressors are less dramatic and openly aggressive.
