Causes of Passive-Aggression
Conditions that Can Trigger Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder
Nov 21, 2008
According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders: DSM-IV, passive-aggressive behaviour begins by early adulthood and shows up in a variety of situations.
Conditions that Trigger Passive-Aggressive Behaviour
Certain situations will tend to activate passive-aggressive behaviour, including circumstances in which the person’s performance will be judged, or he thinks it will, says therapist Jay Earley, Ph.D., such as in the workplace. Similarly, any situation where the passive-aggressor has to deal with authority figures, such as bosses, parents, teachers, community leaders and even spouses, will often trigger an indirectly angry approach.
This kind of reaction is common with teenagers, says Earley, when they are testing their parents’ boundaries and trying out ways of asserting themselves. In adults, however, this behaviour becomes an unhealthy pattern.
What Causes Passive-Aggression?
Passive-aggessive personality disorder develops as a result of a combination of genetics and environment, says Earley. Essentially, this person feels that aggression is not allowed and to survive, he has to express his anger indirectly and defeat others in the only way he feels he can.
Passive-aggressive people often grew up in a home where they were punished for showing aggression, where they were harshly judged for expressing anger or dominated by a parent. According to the American Psychological Association’s HelpCenter, people whose anger is easily triggered typically come from families that are disruptive, chaotic and unskilled at emotional communication.
As a result, some passive-aggressive personalities are modeled after a passive-aggressive parent, while others emerge as a reaction to a violent parent.
How Does Passive-Aggressive Personality Disorder Develop?
According to Tim Murphy and Loriann Oberlin in their book, Overcoming Passive-Aggression, most passive-aggressives suffer from poor self-image as a result of repressing their own true feelings and from feeling that others are the cause of their problems.
While hiding their anger is a survival behaviour that is effective when the person is young, it becomes highly problematic when the person grows up and the behaviour continues. In many cases, however, the person is unaware that he is doing it and therefore unable to stop it as he continues to recreate the disappointing experiences that mirror those from his past.
Ironically, passive-aggressive people are often yearning for the warmth and support of others, but are afraid of becoming dependent on a relationship which they think will inevitably make them feel trapped, and so they try to avoid responsibilities and commitments to others.
Passive-Aggressive Behaviour Can be a Symptom
While passive-aggression is a condition on its own, this kind of self-defeating behaviour can also be a symptom of another disorder, according to Murphy and Oberlin, like Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), which is characterized by poor coping skills, living in the moment, feeling overwhelmed and being unable to calm onself.
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